7 ways to be respectful and mindful of power dynamics & taking up space
As mixed/white/light-skinned attendees, facilitators, hosts, and educators
#1: Don’t respond to everything that is said with your own feedback/thoughts. A simple:
“Thank you for sharing” or;
“Does anyone want to respond to what [person] has said?” or;
Responding with non-speaking cues;
are great ways to de-center your voice as the one with the most wisdom.
#2: Be honest about your whiteness and practice articulating how you hold yourself accountable. Here’s a message I sent to a potential client recently:
“Since they’re asking specifically for a POC facilitator, I do like to be clear that even though I am Arab / Palestinian / Lebanese, I am also light skinned and benefit from white privileged. I totally understand if that doesn’t feel right with what they’re looking for!”
#3 Acknowledge the power dynamic between the facilitator and others in the room. Something I like to say is usually along the lines of:
“I want to acknowledge the power dynamic between me as a facilitator/educator and y’all! I want to be clear that my number #1 priority is that you are taking care of yourself and that we are all learning from each other, not just from me.
I want y’all to feel as embodied as possible in letting me know if I’m saying something that doesn’t make sense, or doesn’t feel right.
And, if there’s anything at all you need to do, including leaving this space entirely, I want you to do that and not worry about offending or upsetting me in any way.”
#4 Make space for people to provide input on the facilitation and changes to the agenda before, during, and after the gathering.
#5 If you’ve already responded first after space was opened up to share, try not to do it twice in a row!
Wait until others have had a chance to respond, or just keep it to yourself.
#6 Wait 30-60 seconds (or more) to allow time for folks to gather their thoughts and reply/respond to questions or things other folks in the space have said.
This might feel uncomfortable or like a long time, but you get used to it. And it’s worth it to gives folks space/confidence to bring their voice and wisdom forward. 🙂
#7 Be mindful of how long you are talking for!
There are many reasons this can be challenging (like neurodivergence!!), but I can’t tell you how many spaces I’ve been in where folks are going on and on and on!!! Take cues from others in the space, and practice keeping your responses concise or just listening.
Bring me to your workplace for capacity building in facilitation, feedback, communication and de-escalation. :)